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Anonymous asked you: I know you don’t like to speak about the HP/Twilight Wars, but one of the most frequent excuses I’ve seen of Reasoning with Vampires by Twihards is that “if Meyer did it, JK Rowling did it too!” Is there any accuracy in that?
I’m going to generalize my reply because I refuse to contribute to the literary Hatfield-McCoy feud. Feel free to apply my answer to other protestations of “…[choose your own literary masterpiece] did it, too!”
Also, when I use the pronoun “you” in this answer, I’m addressing the apologists, not Miss Annie Onymous.
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nimblestitch-deactivated2011071 asked: You'll probably reply to this with a witty remark, but why don't you post the page numbers of where you can find the selection of text that you're criticizing? Just to be more official. Not that I don't believe you; it's just a suggestion.
1. Anyone who has received a nice reply from me (especially if it was a response to something constructive), please stand up. Yes, yes… I shoot fire from my eyes sometimes, but that is generally restricted to belligerent correspondents who are taking death-defying leaps over logic. Relax, Dollface. I’m not a mean person; I’m high-spirited when the situation requires it.
2. I do sometimes post page numbers. This is usually because the point I’m trying to make hinges on the concentration of Stupid Writing Technique over a few pages. Flashbacks sometimes have page numbers, too.
3. My posts are in sequential order, so if you really want to play along at home, it shouldn’t be hard to find the passages.
5. Does anyone else care? I’m seriously asking.
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I’ve gotten a lot of questions lately. Also, I think I’m dragging my feet in Edward’s Meadow (sparklesparkle). I know that lion/lamb nonsense is coming up.
HEY, WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK?
”The reader may suppose that it is about time another Delectable Mountain appeared upon his horizon. Let him keep his eyes wide open,for here another comes…" My favorite book is The Enormous Room by E.E. Cummings. Careful though: I’m not sure if there’s a sentence in the book that adheres to rules of punctuation. The weirdness of Cummings sentences aren’t there because he didn’t know any better, though. It’s transformative. Reading Cummings makes me consider the purpose of the rule he’s breaking. He puts words together that don’t belong together, but it *does* something new. If you want to pick up narrative Cummings, i six nonlectures is a good place to start. It’s emphatically my pail of blueberries.
HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE “STEPHYLOCOCCUS”?
HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH SOME OF YOUR FUNNIER TAGS (E.G. “PARACRAP”)? DO YOU JUST KEEP TYPING UNTIL SOMETHING FUNNY COMES UP, OR DO THEY COME TO YOU WHILE YOU’RE DOING OTHER THINGS?
Here’s what happens: I save the .png, I go to upload it, and I’m like, “Awesome, this one is done, dammit just upload, oh, tag box? Hm, blablabla.” The R&D process for “paracrap” went something like this, “Wow, that’s a shitty paragraph. Uh, what would I call a shitty para… paracrap it is!” Tags are either last minute thoughts before I upload or things that didn’t fit into the post image. My tags are usually more juvenile, crass, and/or bitchy than image comments. Sometimes I add hilarious comments I see on reblogs into the comments, but I usually credit those.
HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DO YOU HAVE?
Uh, I’m not answering that. I know some people post the number of followers because they’re really excited and appreciate each and every user. I love all the unique and magical snowflakes that want me on their dash (well, most of you) (some more than others) (what? there are really quiet followers that I don’t know) (more parenthetical) (ha). It’s not that I’m not grateful, but I’m not going to announce how many notches are on my Tumblr bedpost. I think it would be tacky.
ARE YOU GOING THROUGH TWILIGHT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER, OR ARE YOU JUST POSTING RANDOM TIDBITS (HEHE) HERE AND THERE?
You can follow along at home. It’s page by page. Every now and then, I go back and grab something I missed. (Sup, Green B?) Some large compilations like “Edward’s What-the-Fuck Faces” are grabbed as I go and languish in a folder until I get around to putting them together.
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At the moment I see a conversation initiated by tranzient in the reblogging of this post. I have no intention of sounding defensive or argumentative, and because I’ve seen a few people discuss what I’m doing before tonight, I’m just going to copy from my About:
I’ve been asked why I’m spending so much time mulling over something I hate so much. Here are a few reasons for Reasoning:
If you want to send me a message, the best way to ensure getting a reply will be to contact me via firstname.lastname@example.org.
P.S.: In a completely unexpected turn of events, I’ve received messages and reblogged comments about the educational value of this tumblr. Apparently, people are actually learning things about grammar and writing via this peculiarly accessible project. It’s weird but awesome.
Oh, also, the correct pronoun when referencing me is “she”.
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I’ve seen a few people incredulously commenting, “This can’t be real!” I realize most of that is meant as, “This should not be!” and not “I deny the existence!” Even so, I want to officially state that the Twilight text* has not been altered. These are actual pages from Twilight scanned and cropped. What you
see cringe at is what you get suffer.
As always, I’m flattered so many people enjoy this project, and I’m quite proud that some people are finding this educational. Thanks again, everyone.
* The one exception is the text of the preface that appears in the very first post. I did type that.