Before I had any right to dismiss Twihards or criticize the psychologically unhealthy relationship model that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen present, I felt obliged to read the books. So I did. All four novels, one novella, and an incomplete document in portable format. The content lived down to my expectations, but I was unprepared for how poorly crafted the saga is. Contact: reasoningwithvampires@gmail.com

4th November 2011

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Tagged: ''Oi, haven't I seen you somewhere before?'' ''No, doctor, no. Something very funny's happening to me.''repeat repeat, beat beatWhen she refers to Edward as an angel, J. Geils starts playing in my head.recyclingthere's glitter in the matrixAnd then I knew I was dead.

30th October 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatexclusively from eleven pagesthe epic battle against sleep rages onThis chapter was so much longer than necessary.

21st September 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatevery noun does not need an adjectiveanaphor resolutionAm Big: you or us?Her echolocation skills surpass her ability to find her own lips.

29th May 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatJacobIs it weird that ''semantic satiation'' sounds hot to me?Bella is a miserable person.Unlikeable. Liked by no one.

16th April 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatBellusionalphantagasm''Why?'' I whined.

13th April 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatExcuse me. I think your sentence is scratched.Repetition for effect can be nice.doodoothis is not one of those timesOverkilloverkill.

13th April 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatDialogue TagsYou can tell when she's on a roll with a technique.

8th April 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatYes, yes... emphasis is valid literary technique blablabla, but repeatedly in short periods of time is obnoxiously obnoxious.I think your narrative has the hiccups.echo echoYes

7th March 2011

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Tagged: That's interesting: I want to poke this book in the eye. I neither know how to do that, nor what to do with the impulse.repeat repeat, beat beatpick oneTwilightlitNew MoonPage 125 can bite me. Not in the sexy-sexy vampire way. In the Bart Simpson way.

7th March 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatI do not think it means what you think it means.humorless dark humor is this season's betraying traitor tears

7th March 2011

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Tagged: Here we just sell small rectangular objects. They're called books. They require a little effort on your part, and make no bee-bee-bee-bee-beeps.repeat repeat, beat beatMOONCHILD!That's a lot of nothing.TwilightWe don't even care whether or not we care.

21st February 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beat''I saw his lips move as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch.''''I looked at his lips as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch.''This is why the universe needs synonyms.

15th February 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beat

11th February 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatwhat's gonna happen?What does Edward's smooth face have in common with the novel series that created him? (See post.)

8th February 2011

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Tagged: repeat repeat, beat beatas opposed to his frenzied calmhis relaxed excitementhis synonymous sameword