Before I had any right to dismiss Twihards or criticize the psychologically unhealthy relationship model that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen present, I felt obliged to read the books. So I did. All four novels, one novella, and an incomplete document in portable format. The content lived down to my expectations, but I was unprepared for how poorly crafted the saga is. Contact:

19th June 2012

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Tagged: And she’s going to get to live forever?BREAKFAST!Because being early would be just SILLY.How much you want to bet Bella counts all of Edward’s pubic hairs within the first month of immortality?This would be a good time for an avid reader to pick up a book.

23rd February 2011

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Tagged: Is it better to ponder your cereal or eat it cheerily?Joey: Man this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat? Chandler: That's what's weird? Joey the man's been...BREAKFAST!

2nd October 2010

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Tagged: TwilightWHERE WAS THE EDITOR?!cheerilyfutile-ism v. feudalismBREAKFAST!