Before I had any right to dismiss Twihards or criticize the psychologically unhealthy relationship model that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen present, I felt obliged to read the books. So I did. All four novels, one novella, and an incomplete document in portable format. The content lived down to my expectations, but I was unprepared for how poorly crafted the saga is. Contact: reasoningwithvampires@gmail.com

19th September 2011

Photo with 112 notes

Tagged: Stone by day, warriors by nightLook at me! I'm so cultured!EPIC BEAUTY! HEY! SO PRETTY! LOOK! DROOL! OMG! VAMPIRES ARE ATTRACTIVE++;Everything you thought was beautiful is NOTHING compared to the vampMeyer!trying too hard

19th September 2011

Photo with 94 notes

Tagged: inconsistentcontinuityteacup vampiresYou are easily confused.An author who does not pay attention is insulting to a reader that does.

19th September 2011

Photo with 208 notes

Tagged: Dialogue TagsThat just happened.Unintentionally hilarioussomehow injecting a leer into this tagTHE MORE REASONABLE SHADOW

19th September 2011

Photo with 126 notes

Tagged: Felix the Cat, The wonderful, wonderful cat! Whenever he gets in a fix He reaches into his bag of tricks!Aww, vampires are cute.Oooo, I'm so scared.Me-yow!that's what she said

18th September 2011

Photo with 135 notes

Tagged: Apply this commentary to the, ''Isn't she scrumptious?'' remarks by the Volturi.inconsistentcontinuityI take a breath and pull the air in 'til there's nothing leftCan we get a storyteller that's paying attention?

18th September 2011

Photo with 219 notes

Tagged: You know, I've never had much patience with Edward.that hath sucked, indeedEdward is also being an impetuous fool.I see what you did there.delusions of grandeur

17th September 2011

Photo with 330 notes

Tagged: A new religion that will bring you to the bees.Beads! Bees? BEADS! BEADS?!Dana is not on board.Meyer is tacky and should have her poetic license revoked.angry velvet

16th September 2011

Photo with 318 notes

Tagged: Put that in your cornemuse and smoke it.Uhh...seriously?No. Really. Did you lose a bet?Now you're just being silly.

16th September 2011

Photo with 481 notes

I REPEAT — He should be the icing, not the cake.

I REPEAT — He should be the icing, not the cake.

Tagged: Don't try this at home, kids.Thanks for that, Stephenie.You're killin' me, Smalls.Love means never having to say you're sorry, especially when you're dating a doormat.Bella's holeUhh...We're deep into the real of psychological fuckery.You complete me kitchen.om-nom-nom dangerIntense love is not a problem. All-consuming love is a problem.

16th September 2011

Photo with 204 notes

Tagged: Semantic satiation (also semantic saturation) is a psychological phenomenon/disease in which repetition causes a word or phrase to temporarily lose meaning for the listener, who can only process the speech as repeated meaningless sounds.Bella's holesIsabummerMy next post will make this relevant.that's what she said

16th September 2011

Photo with 78 notes

Tagged: I see what you did there.I was humming ''Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead'' the whole time.bells are percussion instrumentsgrasping at silver liningsOne paragraph started and ended with the clock tolling again.

16th September 2011

Photo with 192 notes

Graphic Timeline By Request

Graphic Timeline By Request

Tagged: Is it possible?logisticstravel plansVolturi Ice Cream SocialtimelineTwiline

15th September 2011

Photo with 83 notes

IS IT POSSIBLE? Part 3

IS IT POSSIBLE? Part 3

Tagged: Is it possible?logisticstravel planstimelineTwiline

15th September 2011

Photo with 42 notes

IS IT POSSIBLE? Part 1

IS IT POSSIBLE? Part 1

Tagged: logisticsIs it possible?travel planstimelineTwiline

15th September 2011

Photo with 47 notes

IS IT POSSIBLE? Part 2

IS IT POSSIBLE? Part 2

Tagged: Is it possible?logisticstravel planstimelineTwiline