Post with 229 notes
Anonymous asked you: Okay, I am a teenage girl. I’m just thirteen. Like most of the girls of my age, I have read Twilight. I like it. It was the first book series I finished, and, after that, I discovered that I liked reading and that I’m pretty good at writing. Now, three years after I first picked up a Twilight book, I see that they’re bad written. I now know what a good book is. But I can’t help loving them. And I feel bad for that. What would you say to me?
I would say: Don’t feel bad about that. I don’t want to sound like a condescending adult, but you were only ten! When I was ten, I thought a curly perm was a good idea.
Darling, you have a lifetime ahead of you with no shortage of hindsight revelations which will leave you cringing at your own dubious judgement. Give yourself a pass on this one.
Besides, sometimes these things can’t be helped. You loved it, and love has a tendency to linger regardless of logic. Your love persists because a couple of years ago you formed an attachment to Twilight. It’s just like how every time I see Tim Curry, I’m instinctively suspicious of him. I will always doubt the nobility of any character he portrays because the first movie I saw him in was Legend, in which he played The Lord of Darkness (actually).
On the bright side, you’re getting a head start on learning how to be in love with an asshole. At some point in your future, you might fall for a person who isn’t good enough for you and even possibly a girl or guy who is straight up bad for you. You will be able to draw upon this experience, acknowledging the lust but moving on to someone who deserves your attention. Think of it as jackass practice.
While Twilight is emphatically NOT an awesome book, it was a catalyst for your literary awakening, and that itself is quite awesome.
I think you’re going to be fine.
P.S. (Please read this correction in a Mary Poppins-esque nurturing-but-assertive tone.) In the future, use the adverb “badly” when modifying verbs. The books are badly written. See also: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Post with 538 notes
I doubt the good people at the CDC love Ebola. I’m a literary epidemiologist.
Question with 18 notes
Anonymous asked: "Move over Sean Cassidy" -- That's "Shaun" Cassidy. (sincerely, a 40-mumble-year-old-woman who still listens to the Da Doo Ron Ron).
We’re not listening to the same Cassidy.
Post with 415 notes
Anonymous asked you: I know you don’t like to speak about the HP/Twilight Wars, but one of the most frequent excuses I’ve seen of Reasoning with Vampires by Twihards is that “if Meyer did it, JK Rowling did it too!” Is there any accuracy in that?
I’m going to generalize my reply because I refuse to contribute to the literary Hatfield-McCoy feud. Feel free to apply my answer to other protestations of “…[choose your own literary masterpiece] did it, too!”
Also, when I use the pronoun “you” in this answer, I’m addressing the apologists, not Miss Annie Onymous.
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