Reasoning With Vampires

I suddenly feel lactose intolerant.

Clearly. Although, I find it not only fun but educational and therapeutic.

That was a euphemism for masturbation. I also wasn’t genuinely suggesting anyone convert cream into butter with the suggestion about churning.

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I don’t have a list categorized by continent.

Birth. Alternatively, I tend to read realistic fiction written fairly recently. Stuff I relate to. After reading Twilight, I started delving into the fantasy genre for comparison and curiosity. I’ve expanded my field of interest. I’ve also recoiled in horror.

WTF. No, really. What the fuck. I have no answer, just glee about the previously mentioned disinclination to read fanfic.

Shut your mouth.

Curious. Not excited.

Considering none of those characters identified as same-sex attracted, no.

Romance, in general, isn’t a problem to me. I think books (occasionally) make people think, sure.

You and me, baby. You and me.

No. Should I?

Waffle-cut.

You like mushy toilet paper?

I’d give change a try.

That’s not a question.

Tears.

Spoiler alert: She was comforting him!

That’s… that’s a big deal. I’m honored and so glad and PROUD of you.

Don’t apologize. It’s okay to be wrong.

I don’t really read fanfic. I’ve only really liked http://audreyii_fic.livejournal.com/ and partially that’s because I like her as a human. Also, thanks!

Ew.

Encyclopedia because that was an unexpected choice and quite novel. I like originality.

I decide a book is terrible when my brain, English, or logic starts to hurt. And yes, generally, I finish them anyway. I am a stubborn bitch.

The fact that they end.

Are you suggesting being a voracious reader (good thing!) or cannibalism (bad thing!)?

Yes, I would consider it.

The Enormous Room by EE Cummings. Then practically To Kill a Mockingbird.

Marvel. Because of the X-Men. It’s the first comic I cared about and followed. When my mom was younger, the only comics for girls were Archie Comics and she stole her brothers’ comics, and Fox had that X-Men cartoon when I was little, so we bonded over that. Then fast-forward ten+ years, and I’m coming out of the theater with my then-boyfriend declaring, “THE JUGGERNAUT WASN’T A MUTANT. HE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN AFFECTED. GEM OF CYTTORAK!”

Invisibility.

I would say, “Oh, honey,” and then give her a hug, because she is misguided and makes me the kind of sad previously relegated to animal shelters.

Apple. Primarily because I have been gifted with Apple devices. I’ve never made a conscious or reasoned decision about the technological rift. Apple is just easier.

Nope. And no thoughts.

They have the creepiest eyes! That hyphenated gaze freaks me out. My dad took over a herd of goats after my grandfather died (which is just a whole Lifetime movie waiting to happen, but anyway), so I have easy access to goats, but why would you want that?!

I didn’t know what those were. A flash at the Google search tells me I think butterfly cupcakes are more effort than I’d put forth making but I’d probably eat them.

I’m currently reading 10% Happier by Dan Harris. I don’t know if I like it yet.

Yes.

Because Poe wrote on both! (Thank you, Jasper Fforde!) And, because?

The only video I’ve ever made for public consumption answers that very question: http://reasoningwithvampires.tumblr.com/post/23149266211/video-answer-have-you-read-are-you-going-to

I like the abundance of icing. I think the taking-half-the-cake-bottom-part-off-putting-it-on-the-top-and-eating-it-like-a-sandwich thing is brilliant.

It was an inherently unsustainable way to maintain a placid society.