Before I had any right to dismiss Twihards or criticize the psychologically unhealthy relationship model that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen present, I felt obliged to read the books. So I did. All four novels, one novella, and an incomplete document in portable format. The content lived down to my expectations, but I was unprepared for how poorly crafted the saga is. Contact: reasoningwithvampires@gmail.com

Post

About

Prior to actually reading Twilight, I had an opinion about it. I scoffed and mocked. I argued with my sister that, No, no, Edward doesn’t sound like the perfect guy, because I don’t really think that breaking into the bedrooms of teenage girls without their knowledge is romantic. I maintained a generalized position that Bella and Edward’s relationship seemed psychologically unhealthy. Also, the idea of a sparkling vampire was too ridiculous not to mock. Yet, I never felt like I had the authority to really trash the book(s), because I didn’t read them, and I try to avoid being a jackass. Then it seemed like Twilight was everywhere with the upcoming release of Eclipse in theatres, so I decided to earn my Twilight badge and read it.

I fully admit I was prejudiced. I expected to be mildly offended by the content. Even so, I took for granted that it would be a good book because of how wildly popular the series is. Surely, an author doesn’t sell millions of copies without writing well! I was wrong. I was so wrong. I have not read a book so poorly crafted that wasn’t the construction paper publication of a child.

Convinced that I must be missing something, I soldiered on. I was caught in an avalanche of litter-ature. I read New Moon, then Eclipse, then Breaking Dawn, and what-the-hell-might-as-well The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner in a futile attempt to uncover the appeal. I never found it. Instead, I found a lot of disgust and disappointment, which eventually manifested into this tumblr.

I’ve been asked why I’m spending so much time mulling over something I hate so much. Here are a few reasons for Reasoning:

  • It’s cathartic to rant.
  • I see Stephenie Meyer’s novels like the activity page in Highlights magazine where you have to find what’s wrong with the picture.
  • It’s like a creative writing exercise designed to revisit the fundamentals of good storytelling.
  • It’s funny.
  • It’s too easy for Twilunatics to dismiss claims that Stephenie Meyer is a bad writer, because “you’re just jealous/dense/unromantic/uncool.” When I write that Stephenie Meyer is a bad writer, it’s not merely an opinion. I can prove it over, and over, and over, and over…
  • You seem to like it. <3

If you want to send me a message, the best way to ensure getting a reply will be to contact me via reasoningwithvampires@gmail.com.

With the exception of the very first post, all text from Twilight has not been re-typed or altered. These images are actual scanned pages from a copy of Twilight (ISBN-10 for this edition is 0-316-01584-9). I believe the intent of this project falls under Fair Use, specifically as the court held in Folsom v. Marsh: “[A] reviewer may fairly cite largely from the original work, if his design be really and truly to use the passages for the purposes of fair and reasonable criticism.”