Before I had any right to dismiss Twihards or criticize the psychologically unhealthy relationship model that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen present, I felt obliged to read the books. So I did. All four novels, one novella, and an incomplete document in portable format. The content lived down to my expectations, but I was unprepared for how poorly crafted the saga is. Contact: reasoningwithvampires@gmail.com

9th April 2015

Question with 99 notes

Anonymous asked: The only thing I could possibly ship with Bella is a plain glass of milk, because they'd be perfectly matched in how boring they are.

I suddenly feel lactose intolerant.

9th April 2015

Question with 54 notes

Anonymous asked: Do you find it fun to pick shitty books apart? (Not being sarcastic or rude, I totally love doing that.)

Clearly. Although, I find it not only fun but educational and therapeutic.

9th April 2015

Question with 28 notes

silentsnowdrop asked: I was reading your backlog (again, love this blog) and I got to post 1603511230. Now I have a question: what do you mean by 'clear the snorkel'?

That was a euphemism for masturbation. I also wasn’t genuinely suggesting anyone convert cream into butter with the suggestion about churning.

9th April 2015

Question with 46 notes

magmapriest asked: What is the Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything?

42

9th April 2015

Question with 21 notes

allirea asked: Who is your favorite European writer?

I don’t have a list categorized by continent.

9th April 2015

Question with 28 notes

Anonymous asked: Glad to see you back on tumblr! Why are you so awesome? Alternatively, what's your favorite genre for books/movies?

Birth. Alternatively, I tend to read realistic fiction written fairly recently. Stuff I relate to. After reading Twilight, I started delving into the fantasy genre for comparison and curiosity. I’ve expanded my field of interest. I’ve also recoiled in horror.

9th April 2015

Question with 21 notes

allirea asked: I once read a disturbing fanfic in which Embry imprinted on a psychopath who enjoyed watching wolf-him tear apart living humans, which she could demand because of her imprintee status. Should Emily have used her power as an imprintee to make Sam kill himself or have himself committed? Lots of mental health professionals' lives could be on the line because of uncontrolable wolf-floofing.

WTF. No, really. What the fuck. I have no answer, just glee about the previously mentioned disinclination to read fanfic.

9th April 2015

Question with 248 notes

makohi asked: Do you also fear that as Twilight led to 50 Shades, 50 Shades may lead to something more terrible?

Shut your mouth.

9th April 2015

Question with 25 notes

Anonymous asked: Are you excited about the sequel to "To Kill a Mockingbird" that's due out soon??

Curious. Not excited.

9th April 2015

Question with 36 notes

Anonymous asked: I think Rosalie/Bella or even Leah/Bella would be good together. Do you?

Considering none of those characters identified as same-sex attracted, no.

9th April 2015

Question with 9 notes

allirea asked: "Aurora Leigh"* It's romance. I wondered if you had anything inherently for or against romance novels. These books may encourage abusive relationships, but don't they also (occasionally) make people think?

Romance, in general, isn’t a problem to me. I think books (occasionally) make people think, sure.

9th April 2015

Question with 39 notes

Anonymous asked: Who is the real OTP?

You and me, baby. You and me.

9th April 2015

Question with 2 notes

allirea asked: Any love for "Aurora Leih" or "Vivian Grey"?

No. Should I?

9th April 2015

Question with 23 notes

Anonymous asked: how do you like your potatoes?

Waffle-cut.

9th April 2015

Question with 24 notes

black-aliss asked: Oh, you're back on tumblr! I used to think Twilight was the toiletpaper of literature. Until 50 Shades of Grey came out. Now I think it's relatively harmless, I could even enjoy it a little, if not for the mush.

You like mushy toilet paper?